Lately, I’ve been thinking life is about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is, about challenging yourself to expand, to change, to grow. Like I’ve said before, it’s about getting just a bit uncomfortable by shrewdly matching challenges to your current skill levels in whatever vocation/job/hobby/craft you’re into. (Not my original idea. The book, Flow, has much more on this). That way, you can build up your skill levels steadily over time—and I think that’s one of the most gratifying things about life.
And I did that this year. In spades…In both my personal life and in writing. So, let’s take a look…
Getting Uncomfortable and Firsts—In My Personal Life
I wanted to do some new things this year. To try and experiment, and learn and grow. And one of the best ways I know of doing this is to go to a country you’ve never been to before.
Japan has been on the top of my list of places I’ve not yet been, but that I’ve wanted to go to. My wife had a work conference this year in Okinawa, so it seemed an ideal time to go and so we started to prepare.
I was intimidated by learning some Japanese at first. (I’m language nut, but this would be my first non-Indo-European language. It had a COMPLETELY different alphabet and the pronunciation would be HARD!). I tamped down those negative voices, bought some grammar workbooks, and got onto Rosetta Stone (mostly for pronunciation help). I sat my butt down and started learning. I made flashcards, read the grammar books, did some exercises, and practiced my diction on Rosetta.
Finally, we took off and went to Japan (yes, the flight was LONG). We saw castles, stayed at a traditional inn/ryokan (highly recommended), took (the fastest) bullet train, soaked in an onsen, happened upon a kendo demonstration, ate sushi and ramen and takoyaki—and so, so much more. Thanks to Google Translate on our phones we also were able to “translate” any sign or packaging we encountered (so don’t let the thought that “you won’t understand the signs” stop you from traveling!). The Japanese people were probably the highlight of the trip: they were always courteous, helpful, polite and friendly. They made traveling even easier.
Finally, I picked up two new “skills” there: I finally learned how to snorkel and how to be the guy that manages the hotpot (thanks to that ryokan in Kyoto). They might seem like rudimentary skills, but hey, they were things I had NEVER done before and that’s what I wanted to do this year. And I did.
And you know what? My Japanese, while basic, went pretty far. By the end of week two, I was (with some help from my phone) holding VERY BASIC conversations in Japanese with strangers at restaurants, hotels, and on the flight back. And I felt really good about that one!
But that was just one half of my getting uncomfortable this year…
Getting Uncomfortable in My Writing…
Fiction writing is where I systematically and purposefully decided to challenge myself this year. Challenged myself to get uncomfortable and try new things. And I did that in a lot of different ways.
First, for the first time, I workshopped a longer piece, a book actually. One of my writing partners, Chris, told me about a writing workshop with some more senior writers this March in West Virginia. The deal was that you would go to a cabin in the mountains, spend the weekend there, and have your book critiqued by them and your fellow writers.
Well, that scared me to bits. But I also knew that some fear is what I was looking for this year. I knew that that feeling of unease, of trepidation should be pursued—not avoided. So, I got on Facebook told the lead editor I wanted to go—and booked it the very same day I heard about. Risk on!
Later, I drove a good portion of a day to get there, checked in, and had a few drinks with the other writers. We just chilled out that evening together and got to know one another a bit better. The next day we had the session. I got feedback from my fellow writers first and then from Tim Waggoner, Michael Knost and Stephen Zimmer—who share a number of Stoker Awards between them. It was very intimidating at first—but those three made you comfortable quickly while still offering actionable, honest critiques of your piece. I took those critiques back home to Virginia, incorporated them, and started pitching the book to agents/publishers once it was ready. I’m really grateful for the opportunity and would recommend a workshop with any of those three writer/editors. They were very thoughtful and professional—and could see flaws in my work that I just couldn’t.
In the end, I’m so proud of myself for doing that.
Second, I had my first “book signing” this year. Sure, the “books” were collections of poetry that my poems had appeared in. But hey! I was selling and signing books for readers. That was a lot of fun and I learned a lot. Mostly, I learned readers are more willing to purchase single-author novels/books with compelling covers than they are poetry collections in which you appear alongside dozen of others. But hey, live and learn!
I also appeared for the first time at a general interest book festival: The Baltimore Book Festival. I appeared on a panel hosted by the SFWA on Horror in Science Fiction. I was able to answer questions and felt my fellow panelists did a great job of sharing why they can’t stop writing about scary things in space.
My last “first” for this year was appearing at an Open Mic Night for poetry. I had done similar things in the past at Sci-Fi and Horror conventions—but this would be my first time with the general public. So, Dec. 6, I went to our local café (St. Elmo’s here in Alexandria) and I debuted two new poems: “Accept” and “Strife.” I was REALLY nervous reading the first poem, “Accept.” But by the second poem I had calmed down and felt my delivery was much better, much smoother. Both poems got a positive response and one of the event organizers encouraged me to come back in January. If you’re in town, I plan to be at the Jan. 3 (7 p.m.) Open Mic at St. Elmo’s. So, hope you can make it!
I also submitted much, much more this year—and I finally feel like my rate of submitting has reached an adequate level. It seems not that long ago that I was celebrating getting 200 lifetime rejections. Well, I’ve now far surpassed that. This year alone, I submitted 265 pieces (novels, stories, poems, Podcast scripts). And this year alone I have received 207 rejections. Those rejections ranged from 1 day to 194 days in length. So, I can proudly say that I have received over 500 rejections (actually, 515) over my lifetime as a writer. Believe it or not, this has been a goal of mine since I started going to my first Cons back in 2023 and realized other writers had hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of literary rejections over their careers. It’s tough at first to receive these rejections, but it’s all part of the game. It still stings—especially on the longer ones—but you do start to get used to it.
This year, I’ve also deepened my writing partnerships. These are special critique groups where we share around each other’s work to gather feedback. So, I want to specifically thanks Chris Niddrie (and his wife, C—) for critiquing my Horror/Dark Fantasy pieces. (Thanks for understanding my brand of darkness!) I also want to thank Crystal Sidell and the entire “Florida Poets” circle for listening to and critiquing my poems in real time. It’s absolutely insightful, honest critiques like these that are helping raise my prose and poetry to the next level. THANK YOU!
It’s also been great to volunteer in writing. I have just completed another year as secretary of my local Northern Virginia Writers’ Club. They’ve been a great group that has helped me establish myself as a writer and grow some oh-so-important local connections. I will be stepping down from the secretaryship at the end of the year, but I look forward to being involved in the Club in the future. Also, I have been engaged in a volunteer activity which I cannot yet disclose—but hope to be able to share sometime next year.
Lastly, I just want to note that I have (for various reasons), essentially shutdown my Twitter/X account and migrated over to BlueSky for my day-to-day announcements. If you’re over there now, please, please follow me at: @dariusjones.bsky.social. Thanks!
The Harvest (Results)
So, where did all this “getting uncomfortable” get me? Well, I got my writing out everywhere I want to be, namely in stories, poems and Podcasts.
- “Exo-Soul” a Horror short story was sold to, and produced by, Creepy Podcast.
- I signed a contract for a Sci-Fi/Horror short story called “Turtles” with Timber Ghost Press. (It will debut in early 2025).
- I sold a poem “Sentio” to Space & Time Magazine. (It will premier there in early 2025).
- Four new poems appeared in Alexandria VA’s Greet Magazine in November. They are: “Ragamuffin,” “Clouds (Faiku),” “Wiser,” and “The Ash Sutra of the Sixth Matriarch.”
That last one (“The Ash Sutra”) appears as the frontispiece of the story I’m working on now. So, it was a fitting end to things published in 2024.
The Final Vision
This all brings us back to Japan. To Tokyo, actually.
One the last day, on a whim, we decided to have a sushi lunch. We found a place in Tokyo Ginza. At first the chef there, Nakamura-san, was a bit hesitant to let us in (it had about nine seats and my wife is vegan so that would one mean one empty seat). But then he waved us on in and we sat down. Unlike most Western restaurants, in Japan your food is prepared right in front of your eyes—usually just feet away from where you are sitting.
So, we got to see as he carefully and quite skillfully cut, diced, and molded piece after piece of truly artisanal sushi before our very eyes. They were not only a joy to eat—they were a joy to behold. I will never forget that afternoon.
But best of all was to see Nakamura-san work. He did not rush, but at the same time he didn’t dally. He simply skillfully, step-by-step, laid out piece-after-fabulous-piece of sushi, only presenting them to us—when THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY READY.
I’ve had many occasion, to think back on that afternoon. Suddenly one day, I realized, what he was doing was my ultimate goal in the craft of writing. That I would sharpen and raise my writing skill to such a pitch, to such excellence, that they might somehow match Nakamura-san’s skills with sushi.
I think you can never reach that summit, that peak—whether it’s in sushi or writing. But I believe that each day it’s important that in a million different ways you seek a way to hone your craft, to get better, to find that place where you’re just a little uncomfortable. Where you say to yourself, “Well, I don’t really know about this…”
Then, you jump in, practice getting at peace with feeling uneasy. And start to figure it all out. Once again.
Well, that’s all for now, People! Hope to see you out there soon. Until then…
Keep Reading, Keep Writing,
Darius
Inside the Writer's Mind 